Monday, April 14, 2014

Why Snow White?

I have my cup of coffee. The laptop is finally fixed. The kids are successfully chauffeured to school on this very WET Monday morning. It is time.

Why a blog? Why a new blog? Yes, I did bring over the old blog as there were posts I did not want to lose, but this space is different. I am different. My family is different.

So what is this space? It is a place to document the journey of a family. A place of life with all its colors. All its hills and all its valleys....well, hopefully, more of the hills! :)


Why Snow White? Recently, I have been doing some difficult interior work. I had found I was lost. Not in the spiritual sense, not in the physical sense, mostly in the identity sense. I didn't know who I was. What were my goals, desires, dreams? I know longer knew. You are probably wondering why this sudden sense of disorientation. In truth, it was triggered by a series of horribly painful family interactions. These encounters were like giant waves that rolled over me, stirring up the sediment of smothered wounds. Thankfully, I married a wonderful man and am lucky to have some other great family and friends in my life who have supported me as I navigated this bumpy road.

I will be a bit vulnerable here and say that there comes a time where it is wise and good to seek out professional help in untangling the wounds, thought patterns, and personal beliefs that bind us to a life we do not want to live, while holding us back from the life we are longing for. In my case, I had created a beautiful life. I was blessed on so many levels, but a major part of my identity was still held prisoner to the past and I was not enjoying the beauty around me.

Sitting in the room with my counselor she asked me a question, "What most can I help you with?" My response, "I want to find me." That began a journey. A journey back to go forward. To find the little girl who was me, before I lost her. To remember the things that called to me and only me. The things that were unique and precious.

And that was Snow White. When I was little I loved that movie. I related to it, but there was a certain segment I related to on a deep and intimate level. You know the story. Snow White is running through the woods. Blinded by pain and fear she reaches the end of herself. Thankfully, she finds help in the most unlikely of places. The animals guide her to the heart of the wood. Isolated. Buffered. There is a home. A home where she can be safe. A home she can make for the seven dwarves and herself.

It is who I am. Whom I have always wanted to be. I am going to embrace that identity. I want to be and am a Homemaker.


So, yes. A new blog. To focus on the journey. To focus on the home, the family, the faith and the community I have come to love.

Whew! I am glad that is out of the way. On to things a bit more domestic!

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Musings Feb. 4th, 2014

I read these words last night and was struck with how true they rang for me. And yet why is it so hard not to "play it small." Fear? A false sense of humility? I am taking the time right now to work on this part of my life. To heal up this woundedness. It is a journey long overdue and one I am looking forward to. 

Book title: Will I Ever Be Good Enoug? Healing the daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. By Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Forgiveness Sunday.

Today is Forgiveness Sunday. In light of that, I ask that you forgive me for any offense I may have caused. Thank you!


For more information on Forgiveness Sunday here is a link! http://orthodoxwiki.org/Forgiveness_Sunday