Monday, April 14, 2014

Why Snow White?

I have my cup of coffee. The laptop is finally fixed. The kids are successfully chauffeured to school on this very WET Monday morning. It is time.

Why a blog? Why a new blog? Yes, I did bring over the old blog as there were posts I did not want to lose, but this space is different. I am different. My family is different.

So what is this space? It is a place to document the journey of a family. A place of life with all its colors. All its hills and all its valleys....well, hopefully, more of the hills! :)


Why Snow White? Recently, I have been doing some difficult interior work. I had found I was lost. Not in the spiritual sense, not in the physical sense, mostly in the identity sense. I didn't know who I was. What were my goals, desires, dreams? I know longer knew. You are probably wondering why this sudden sense of disorientation. In truth, it was triggered by a series of horribly painful family interactions. These encounters were like giant waves that rolled over me, stirring up the sediment of smothered wounds. Thankfully, I married a wonderful man and am lucky to have some other great family and friends in my life who have supported me as I navigated this bumpy road.

I will be a bit vulnerable here and say that there comes a time where it is wise and good to seek out professional help in untangling the wounds, thought patterns, and personal beliefs that bind us to a life we do not want to live, while holding us back from the life we are longing for. In my case, I had created a beautiful life. I was blessed on so many levels, but a major part of my identity was still held prisoner to the past and I was not enjoying the beauty around me.

Sitting in the room with my counselor she asked me a question, "What most can I help you with?" My response, "I want to find me." That began a journey. A journey back to go forward. To find the little girl who was me, before I lost her. To remember the things that called to me and only me. The things that were unique and precious.

And that was Snow White. When I was little I loved that movie. I related to it, but there was a certain segment I related to on a deep and intimate level. You know the story. Snow White is running through the woods. Blinded by pain and fear she reaches the end of herself. Thankfully, she finds help in the most unlikely of places. The animals guide her to the heart of the wood. Isolated. Buffered. There is a home. A home where she can be safe. A home she can make for the seven dwarves and herself.

It is who I am. Whom I have always wanted to be. I am going to embrace that identity. I want to be and am a Homemaker.


So, yes. A new blog. To focus on the journey. To focus on the home, the family, the faith and the community I have come to love.

Whew! I am glad that is out of the way. On to things a bit more domestic!

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Musings Feb. 4th, 2014

I read these words last night and was struck with how true they rang for me. And yet why is it so hard not to "play it small." Fear? A false sense of humility? I am taking the time right now to work on this part of my life. To heal up this woundedness. It is a journey long overdue and one I am looking forward to. 

Book title: Will I Ever Be Good Enoug? Healing the daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. By Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Forgiveness Sunday.

Today is Forgiveness Sunday. In light of that, I ask that you forgive me for any offense I may have caused. Thank you!


For more information on Forgiveness Sunday here is a link! http://orthodoxwiki.org/Forgiveness_Sunday


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

When homeschooling burns you out...

It is time to confess one of the dark secrets of homeschooling.....burnout. Last year was just a rough year. We moved, the kids tried to go to public school, multiple ADHD diagnoses, and converting to Eastern Orthodoxy. What is interesting is that it wasn't rough as in bad. Just a lot of change. The ADHD really made me rethink my approach to homeschooling and what was both reasonable and in the best interests of my special students.

I have spent the last month and half doing practically nothing in the way of formal homeschooling. I have rested, ridden my horse, made new friends....and eased my toe into some teaching resources.

What has helped me the most? Reading The Abolition of Man, by CS Lewis. http://www.amazon.com/The-Abolition-Man-C-Lewis/dp/0060652942/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343839242&sr=8-1&keywords=the+abolotion+of+man,

and spending a lot of time listening to podcasts here: http://circeinstitute.org/

I have just started to plan the upcoming year, but find myself finally looking forward to it again. That little bit of excitement about getting to spend these precious moments, hours, days, weeks and years with my children. :)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

There and back again....A Homeschooling Tale.



I wish someone would invent a recipe that made eating humble pie a little more appetizing. Unfortunately, there is nothing tasty about crow or picking feathers from your teeth. This tale of U-turnish woe started almost 3 years ago. We knew we were moving we just did not know where. I had a child with a milk allergy, adhd, and dyslexia who was falling through the public school cracks. Another child who was struggling with an audio processing disorder, but receiving minimal help due to the speech therapist being put on bedrest and maternity leave. With all of these things swirling in my immediate galaxy, we made the decision to homeschool. We enjoyed homeschooling and it served us well during our moves. Unfortunately, I missed pride creeping in.

You see I wasn't one of THOSE homeschooler's. You know the type, the helicopter moms who think spaghetti straps are of the Devil, evolution = paganism, and public schools are the next Great Satan. Yes, there had been some issues with the kids school, but all in all, it was a decent place. Most importantly the kids had felt safe and loved.

Fast forward a few years. We had finally landed in a town where we felt a bit settled. It was in the country with one elementary school. It seemed to be a similar set up to their last public school experience and since that was not horrible, we thought we would give it a try. The kids were so excited anticipating making new friends, impressing their teachers, riding the Big Yellow Bus, recess and PE. Sadly their rose colored glasses were quickly dashed from their heads and shattered on the hard linoleum floors.

It started slow. A few comments about how much cussing there was, which was a bit shocking, in that Nate and I are not without the occasional expletive. Then I went and sat in my 1st grade son's class for a few days. I watched as they did worksheet after worksheet using the ELMO/smartboard. Worksheets, endless worksheets. Then when he came home there would be more worksheets for homework. I watched a little girl arrive to class about 3 hours late. It was clear from the angry and exasperated look of the teacher that this was not a rare occurrence. "Lily, why are you late.....AGAIN?!" Lily, "because my mom wouldn't wake up," she snarls and stomps to her seat, sticking her tongue out at the unkind faces staring at her. At that moment I have to look into the confused eyes of my 6 yr old, I see the question. Lily wasn't there the next day and within a few weeks she was removed to a "special school."

Then one of the twins started to have his artwork stolen. When he would go to another class, his peers would sneak into his desk and pornographically edit his drawings and leave them out for the teacher to catch. At least the teachers were aware of the very different artistic abilities between him and his peers. The other twin went through 3 increases in his ADHD medications. Then the punching on the bus started. My 6 yr old didn't know how to handle being punched multiple times a day. The bus driver knew, the principal was brought on, but it continued as soon as the Principal was off the bus.

Finally, there was my oldest daughter. A beautiful, sweet, somewhat naive, young tomboy. Her heart is to learn and to please. After about 2 months she came home crying, "Mom, all I am learning is how to take this test. I want to learn History and Latin again." Through the tears, "Mom, there is a new girl who keeps saying she is going to punch me in the face," "Mom, can I please be homeschooled?!" she sobs.

My heart hurts for what they had to experience, but they are home again. They are detoxing and it has not been a pretty last few days, but there is a sense of relief. A peace, a saftey, and a hope for the future. We are two days back into homeschooling and as I write this I am getting ready to take the to a foreign language and culture club. Tomorrow they are going to see a Russian art exhibit, the Houston rodeo and The Band Perry.



I am now one of those homeschooling parents. Call me over protective, insulating, keeping my kids out of reality........as another homeschooling mom put it,


"Misery is optional."

Tuesday, January 3, 2012





Today is the first time I get to celebrate a Name Day...or Saint's Day. In becoming Orthodox, with the help of my Priest, I was able to chose a Saint name. This was something that became very important to me as it allowed me to connect, in a personal way, with a far distant past. It brought to life the feeling a family with the Saints that have lived before me. Here is a link to an article that explains this in a little more detail http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/orthname.aspx


I definitely felt a connection with Saint Genevieve of Paris. From our shared French heritage, love of bread and wine, spiritual giftings, and bold personalities, there was a bond. I look forward to getting to know this woman more over the next year and learning to emulate her life.



Here is a bio from the Catholic Encyclopedia: 


          Patroness of Paris, b. at Nanterre, c. 419 or 422; d. at Paris, 512. Her feast is kept on 3 January. She was the daughter of Severus andGerontia; popular tradition represents her parents as poor peasants, though it seems more likely that they were wealthy and respectable townspeople. In 429 St. Germain of Auxerre and St. Lupus of Troyes were sent across from Gaul to Britain to combat Pelagianism. On their way they stopped at Nanterre, a small village about eight miles from Paris. The inhabitants flocked out to welcome them, and St. Germainpreached to the assembled multitude. It chanced that the pious demeanour and thoughtfulness of a young girl among his hearers attracted his attention. After the sermon he caused the child to be brought to him, spoke to her with interest, and encouraged her to persevere in the path of virtue. Learning that she was anxious to devote herself to the service of God, he interviewed her parents, and foretold them that their child would lead a life of sanctity and by her example and instruction bring many virgins to consecrate themselves to God. Before parting next morning he saw her again, and on her renewing her consecration he blessed her and gave her a medalengraved with a cross, telling her to keep it in remembrance of her dedication to Christ. He exhorted her likewise to be content with themedal, and wear it instead of her pearls and golden ornaments. There seem to have been no convents near her village; and Genevieve, like so many others who wished to practise religious virtue, remained at home, leading an innocent, prayerful life. It is uncertain when she formally received the religious veil. Some writers assert that it was on the occasion of St. Gregory's return from his mission to Britain; others say she received it about her sixteenth year, along with two companions, from the hands of the Bishop of Paris. On the death of her parents she went to Paris, and lived with her godmother. She devoted herself to works of charity and practised severe corporalausterities, abstaining completely from flesh meat and breaking her fast only twice in the week. These mortifications she continued for over thirty years, till her ecclesiastical superiors thought it their duty to make her diminish her austerities.

           Many of her neighbours, filled with jealousy and envy, accused Genevieve of being an impostor and a hypocrite. Like Blessed Joan of Arc, in later times, she had frequent communion with the other world, but her visions and prophecies were treated as frauds and deceits. Her enemies conspired to drown her; but, through the intervention of Germain of Auxerre, their animosity was finally overcome. The bishop of the city appointed her to look after the welfare of the virgins dedicated to God, and by her instruction and example she led them to a high degree of sanctity. In 451 Attila and his Huns were sweeping over Gaul; and the inhabitants of Paris prepared to flee. Genevieve encouraged them to hope and trust in God; she urged them to do works of penance, and added that if they did so the town would be spared. Her exhortations prevailed; the citizens recovered their calm, and Attila's hordes turned off towards Orléans, leaving Parisuntouched. Some years later Merowig (Mérovée) took Paris; during the siege Genevieve distinguished herself by her charity and self-sacrifice. Through her influence Merowig and his successors, Childeric and Clovis, displayed unwonted clemency towards the citizens. It was she, too, who first formed the plan of erecting a church in Paris in honour of Saints Peter and Paul. It was begun by Clovis at Mont-lès-Paris, shortly before his death in 511. Genevieve died the following year, and when the church was completed her body was interredwithin it. This fact, and the numerous miracles wrought at her tomb, caused the name of Sainte-Geneviève to be given to it. Kings, princes, and people enriched it with their gifts. In 847 it was plundered by the Normans and was partially rebuilt, but was completed only in 1177. This church having fallen into decay once more, Louis XV began the construction of a new church in 1764. The Revolution broke out before it was dedicated, and it was taken over in 1791, under the name of the Panthéon, by the Constituent Assembly, to be a burialplace for distinguished Frenchmen. It was restored to Catholic purposes in 1821 and 1852, having been secularized as a national mausoleum in 1831 and, finally, in 1885. St. Genevieve's relics were preserved in her church, with great devotion, for centuries, and Parisreceived striking proof of the efficacy of her intercession. She saved the city from complete inundation in 834. In 1129 a violent plague, known as the mal des ardents, carried off over 14,000 victims, but it ceased suddenly during a procession in her honourInnocent II, who had come to Paris to implore the king's help against the Antipope Anacletus in 1130, examined personally into the miracle and was so convinced of its authenticity that he ordered a feast to be kept annually in honour of the event on 26 November. A small church, calledSainte-Geneviève des Ardents, commemorated the miracle till 1747, when it was pulled down to make room for the Foundling Hospital. Thesaint's relics were carried in procession yearly to the cathedral, and Mme de Sévigné gives a description of the pageant in one of her letters.

                The revolutionaries of 1793 destroyed most of the relics preserved in St. Genevieve's church, and the rest were cast to the winds by the mob in 1871. Fortunately, however, a large relic had been kept at Verneuil, Oise, in the eighteenth century, and is still extant. The churchbuilt by Clovis was entrusted to the Benedictines. In the ninth century they were replaced by secular canons. In 1148, under Eugene IIIand Louis VII, canons from St. Victor's Abbey at Senlis were introduced. About 1619 Louis XIII named Cardinal François de LaRochefoucauld Abbot of St. Genevieve's. The canons had been lax and the cardinal selected Charles Faure to reform them. This holy manwas born in 1594, and entered the canons regular at Senlis. He was remarkable for his piety, and, when ordained, succeeded after a hard struggle in reforming the abbey. Many of the houses of the canons regular adopted his reform. He and a dozen companions took charge ofSainte-Geneviève-du-Mont, at Paris, in 1634. This became the mother-house of a new congregation, the Canons Regular of St. Genevieve, which spread widely over France. Another institute called after the saint was the Daughters of St. Genevieve, founded atParis, in 1636, by Francesca de Blosset, with the object of nursing the sick and teaching young girls. A somewhat similar institute, popularly known as the Miramiones, had been founded under the invocation of the Holy Trinity, in 1611, by Marie Bonneau de RubellaBeauharnais de Miramion. These two institutes were united in 1665, and the associates called the Canonesses of St. Genevieve. The members took no vows, but merely promised obedience to the rules as long as they remained in the institute. Suppressed during theRevolution, it was revived in 1806 by Jeanne-Claude Jacoulet under the name of the Sisters of the Holy Family. They now have charge of over 150 schools and orphanages.


Thursday, December 29, 2011

An Eastern Orthodox Baptism.

I am still lacking in words for this amazing experience, but I wanted to at least share some photo's!
Baptismal crosses and Icon of the Nativity.